Teenagers get a pretty bad rap, if you ask me. They’re crazy and energetic (unless it’s morning!) and enjoying one of the most fun parts of life. Parenting your teenager doesn’t have to be an awful experience! And pointing them to Jesus is your greatest privilege. Read on to discover some easy ways to point your teenager to Jesus!
Have babies or big kids? You can point them to Jesus too, of course! Check out 5 Easy Ways to Point Your Baby to Jesus and 5 Easy Ways to Point Your Child to Jesus! And if you want to read my favorite parenting book ever, check it out Parenting by Paul David Tripp!
1. Celebrate Independence
With a teenager in the house, you probably feel like you’re being catapulted toward the moment when you’ll launch your child into adulthood. Even if you never intentionally taught him to be independent, he’s probably got plenty of independence of his own now! Our culture tells us to resist this independence, but actually, it’s time to celebrate it! This can be an exciting time as you celebrate his first day of high school, his first drive to school without you, and his first date. Even if your heart feels a twinge of sadness over the years that have passed, resist the urge to hold on to your teenager. Celebrate his independence and watch him fly!
Pay extra attention to the independence your teenager shows in his relationship with the Lord. You can equip him by making sure he has a good study Bible and even a devotional book or two to guide him in his quiet time. Encourage him to make choices that honor God, whether that’s at school, at church, or in his social life. Don’t be afraid to talk about these choices and be sure to include possible consequences associated with the choices he’s facing. Overall, keep in mind that you are preparing to launch your teenager into adulthood. It’s a time to celebrate any steps he’s taking toward following Jesus!
2. Enforce Routines
Your teenager’s growing independent spirit most likely causes her to resist some of the established routines of your home. Now is the time to enforce those routines, even if she resists. Don’t give up on enforcing bedtimes or limits with her phone. Stand strong on school and homework routines. Make sure that meal-times are a priority and that daily hygiene is practiced. Your teenager might be resistant to these routines, but keeping predictable, steady habits in your home will set her up for success in young adulthood.
Enforcing routines will also help her to be disciplined in her spiritual life. Let her know that you expect her to participate in your local church. Most churches have great youth groups that will teach truth and encourage your teenager in her walk with the Lord. If yours doesn’t, consider starting one, or find a gospel-teaching church in your area that does have a youth group that she can tap into. If you allow your teenager to prioritize other activities over time spent with the local church, you are setting a precedent that will continue throughout the rest of her life. Let your teenager know that this routine is a non-negotiable one!
Check out these 5 Vital Routines to Build a Strong Home!
3. Require Obedience
Many families wrestle with their teenagers in the struggle between independence and obedience. As independent adults we face many situations in which obedience is required of us, so requiring obedience from your teenager is still very important. This is a life-skill that he will need, but it’s also a spiritual-life-skill that one day he will be thankful he learned from you. When your teenager understands the importance of obeying you, he will be in a better position to understand the importance of obedience to God.
You’ll require obedience in the little things because one day, God will require obedience in the big things and he’ll be ready to respond! You’ll expect him to wash the dishes or fold his laundry, chores which seem like small tasks that simply make the household run. But as you continue to parent with the long-game in mind, you’ll have a front-row seat to watch him respond in obedience to God because he learned how to respond in obedience to you.
4. Allow Mistakes
Your teenager will make plenty of mistakes while under your protective watch. Now is the perfect time for her to make these mistakes! Resist the urge to swoop in and fix things for her. She needs to make the mistakes and suffer the consequences while the cost is low, before she’s out on her own. When she gets a failing grade on her report card, instead of immediately calling the teacher to see what you can do to fix it, allow her to suffer the natural consequences of her actions. We’ve all heard of helicopter parenting and we know that it will only cause our teenagers to be ill-equipped to handle their problems on their own.
But allowing room for your teenager to make mistakes also has spiritual benefits. When she makes a mistake or even worse, when she deliberately chooses sin, you have an opportunity to model the grace and forgiveness of God to her. This doesn’t mean that she won’t have consequences or punishment. It means that you will walk with her through those consequences, modeling the love and grace that God shows us when we make mistakes. You get to offer her unconditional forgiveness and she will get to experience the grace and mercy of God through you. One day when she makes a mistake or chooses sin as an adult, running to God for forgiveness and mercy and grace will come as naturally as running to you.
5. Model Intimacy
Teenagers can spot a hypocrite from miles away. If you’re expecting your teenager to have a relationship with God that you don’t have yourself, your hypocrisy will be very clear to him. One of the greatest gifts you can give your teenager is to spend daily time with the Lord yourself. Even if he acts like he’s not interested, he’s watching what you do. If your words don’t match up with your actions, he’ll notice and he’ll carry that memory into his own relationship with God. So if you want to point your teenager toward Jesus, point yourself toward Jesus first.
Keep in mind that following Jesus is more than following rules. A legalistic view of spiritual matters will only push your child away. Remember that following Jesus is about spending time with him, not about checking off all the boxes of what you think you should be doing. Your teenager will be looking for authenticity in your relationship with God. When he sees that in you, he will have an example to follow in his own relationship with God. Your example has the power to set him up to have a strong, authentic relationship with God as he launches into adulthood.
Check out my absolute favorite parenting book ever!!!
