You know here at The Strong Home we are always talking about ways we can strengthen our homes through the power of God. If you’re anything like me, you might sometimes get so caught up in building a strong home that you forget that YOU are not actually the one who makes your home strong. Or maybe that’s just me…
I was recently confronted with the realization that I am not my husband’s holy spirit. You’d think that I would know that by now, but it was like a lightbulb went off for me when I realized that what I’ve been trying to do is be the Holy Spirit for my husband. It’s as if I were telling the Holy Spirit that I don’t trust him to do his job. “Don’t worry, HS, I’ve got it from here.” Of course, I wasn’t doing this intentionally. I would never do that. But my actions were certainly showing that I was trying to manipulate circumstances to sway my husband’s heart. That’s not my job. That job belongs totally to the Holy Spirit.
Without getting too deep into heavy theology, let’s establish two quick facts:
- The Holy Spirit exists.
- You are not the Him.
Sometimes it’s the little things that trip us up the most!
Sarah and Hagar
Remember the story of Sarah and Abraham and Hagar in Genesis 16? God had promised Abraham and Sarah that he would make their offspring as numerous as the stars in the sky. The only problem with that is that they didn’t have any offspring and they were old. God obviously needed some help, right? So Sarah decided to give Him a little assistance. She arranged for Abraham to hook up with her servant Hagar, sleep with her, in the hopes that he could get her pregnant and his line could continue. The only problem was that God has promised Sarah a son, not Hagar.
The plan seemed to work. Hagar got pregnant and gave birth to Ishmael and Abraham’s line continued. But God still had a plan that Sarah could not thwart, no matter how hard she tried to manipulate it. He caused Sarah to conceive in her old age and Sarah gave birth to Isaac, her very own promise from God, wrapped up in a little bundle.
There are a couple of things I want you to see here. First things first:
Trying to play God is wasted effort.
We may have what we think is success. For a little while, It may look like our efforts to manipulate circumstances have worked. But God has a plan and no amount of manipulation on our part will change what He purposes to do. No matter how hard we try, we can’t change a thing! Not only that, but:
God’s plan is WAY better than anything we could ask or imagine!
He has plans for our good and plans to bring Himself glory through us. Any effort we make to get things to work out is wasted effort. God will make it work. God intends for us to sit back and relax while He does the work in us. You are off the hook for trying to get your plans to succeed.
So now for some practical application – Have you been trying to get your husband to act a certain way, make a certain choice, do a certain thing? What about your kids? Have you been trying to get your kids to act a certain way or make a certain choice or do a certain thing? Good news: You can stop trying.
Your job is to sit back and let the Holy Spirit be the Holy Spirit.
Now, here’s what you can do while you wait.
Pray.
I know, I know. You want something more to do. This is going to take being still and surrendered before the Lord. Make it your mission to go to battle on behalf of your husband and your children or whoever it is you have been trying so hard to reach. Make it your mission to lift them up in prayer and consistently, every day, pray for God’s will to be done in their lives.
Want to hear something funny? I recently committed to spend one week praying for my husband for five minutes straight each day. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I could do it. I set the stopwatch on my phone and started praying. Out poured a good, all-encompassing, “Thy will be done” sort of prayer and I hit on everything that I thought he needed from the Lord. When I opened my eyes: 3 minutes and 14 seconds had passed! I still had to fill up over a minute and a half and I had run out of things to pray for! I’ve since upped my prayer game when it comes to praying for my husband. Five minutes doesn’t seem like a lot, but five minutes a day over the course of a year adds up to 1825 minutes! Those minutes will mean a LOT in the kingdom of God!
Some tough news…
Now I’ve got to remind you of something and you’re probably not going to like it too much. You might sit back in surrender to the Holy Spirit and pray and pray and pray, and the person you are praying for might not ever do whatever it is that you want them to do. They might not do what the Holy Spirit is calling them to do. And that’s because of this little thing called free will.
Free will means that God will not force Himself on us. He has a big, beautiful plan for our lives, but he will never force us to do anything. We get to choose. So that means that your husband might resist the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Your child might rebel against what the Holy Spirit is asking him to do. It is still your job to sit back and pray. It is still your job to let the Holy Spirit be the Holy Spirit. So while you’re asking God to work in all these fantastic ways, go ahead and ask Him for peace that passes understanding, to accept whatever happens.
This is just one baby step on the journey of strong-home-building. I hope you’ll stick around and check out some of the other ways that we are striving together to build strong women with strong families in strong homes for the glory of God!
Check out these 5 Vital Routines to Build a Strong Home!
