1. Lighten up with laughter!
Our family is LOUD…like, CrAzY lOuD. We live in a super quiet neighborhood and almost all of the houses are open-air. I’m sure our neighbors just love us and our loud, crazy ways. Every night between 6:00 and 7:00, the crazy comes out and we laugh like crazy. We can’t help it! As soon as dinner wraps up and after-dinner-chores begin, the volume increases. We’re telling jokes, singing, and acting crazy – but most of all, we are laughing!
We all look forward to this time every night because that’s when the worries of the day melt away and we get to have fun with each other. No matter who got in trouble or who’s in the dog house, laughing together reminds us that we’re a team and we’re all on the same side. There’s just something about laughing together that strengthens the ties that bind.
When’s the last time you had a good belly-laugh with your family? Whether or not you’ve got kids or roomies or live alone, you have no excuse! Google some hilarious memes, watch AFV, or find a funny youtube video. My two favorite videos are people falling and people getting scared. I also love a good wisdom-teeth anesthesia video. And this one is definitely one of my favorite funnies to enjoy alone or with other people! LAUGH OUT LOUD!!!
2. Pray together.
You know you should be praying together, right? But let me tell you a secret. There’s no one right way to pray together. Quit believing the lie that you all need to be seated sweetly at the dinner table, holding hands, and smiling as the man of the house leads the family in 15 minutes of prayer. Stop believing the lie that it has to be done at night when you tuck your kids into their beds in their super-clean rooms with a dim lamp lit by the bedside. Repeat after me, “There is no one right way to pray together”!
Here are some times you can pray together throughout your day:
- When you’ve had a rough parenting moment and the tears have finally slowed down. Grab hands and pray.
- When you’re 5 bites into the pizza and you realize you forgot to pray. Mute the TV and say the blessing.
- When you’re in the car and you drive by a homeless person or an accident or a school, show your kids how to pray with your eyes open while you drive.
- When you’re 10 minutes late to school and they’re finally all strapped in the car seats and the last thing you want to do is be spiritual – do it.
- When you’ve just had a squabble with your hubs and you’re tempted to do the passive-aggressive thing, ask him to pray for you instead.
See, there really isn’t just one right way to pray. Try incorporating prayer throughout your day, even if it doesn’t seem like just the right time. I dare you!
3. Get away together, one-on-one.
We’ve got a big family over here and it’s a real treat to get any one-on-one time. I took one of my girls to the store with me this afternoon and realized I need to do that more often. Whether you’re a family of 8 like us or it’s just you and your hubby, getting away together just two at a time is an important part of building a strong home.
I get so caught up in the chaos of running this circus that when I finally slow down and look one of my kids in the eye, I’m able to connect on a much different level. Am I the only one? Surely not! Next time you’re tempted to run to the store real quick for a few minutes of alone time, grab a kid and bring them along. That will go a long way toward strengthening that bond.
And this isn’t just for moms and kids. Moms and dads need good one-on-one time too! If you’re not dating your spouse anymore, there’s no time like the present! Chris and I have a standing date-night every Sunday night. We order take-out and veg on the couch with our favorite tv shows. And sometimes we even get all fancy with our fancy slippahs (that’s Hawaiian for flip-flops) and have a nice dinner. Find yourself a good babysitter, or swap sitting with another family so you can both have a night out. The “there’s no one right way to do it” rule applies here too. Just keep in mind that the more one-on-one time you get with your spouse, the better. You can never have too much!
4. Get left alone!
It’s so good to do things together, but it’s just as important to leave each other alone! One of the reasons our home is strong is because we make alone time a priority. Sunday afternoon I told Chris I was going out. He saw the look on my face and knew he didn’t need to ask questions. I needed some time alone in a bad way. I ran a few errands and then plopped my rear in the sand to watch the sunset at Ala Moana Beach Park (because HAWAII). And then I grabbed some food for date-night and came home a happy lady.
The thing is, I remember the season of life when that kind of mommy-escape wasn’t possible. There were too many little babies to rock and mouths to feed and bedtime stories to read. If you’re in that season, hang in there. But also, remember this: There are no awards for doing it all. Tell your husband or your mom or your best friend or your pastor’s wife that you need a break. Most people would gladly help you out. But if you’re too hung up on thinking you have to do it all yourself, you won’t get the blessing of a little time away.
P.S. I don’t have a picture of that sunset because I didn’t take my phone with me! I feel like I should get a prize for that. I just sat and looked at it and enjoyed the beauty. It made it that much better.
5. Go to church together.
We are the pastor’s family here at The Strong Home. We go to church together every time the doors are open. Some people are the baseball family or the volleyball family; we are the church family. But here’s one thing it’s taught me. Going to church together gives our family the reminder that we need to fulfill the calling that God has placed on our lives. When we go to church together, we worship together. We read the Bible together. We pray together. When we go to church together, we find encouragement and support. We find the truth preached and the Word of God taught. Most importantly, we are reminded every single Sunday that Jesus died for our sins and wants us to follow Him. And in all that, we find that we’re not alone.
Maybe you are the baseball family or the volleyball family. Or maybe you fill in the blank with another activity that describes your family. That’s ok! But be the church family too. Don’t let all those other things encroach on your worship time as a family because I promise, your kids are paying attention. If you want to build a strong family, you’re gonna have to go to church together!
So there you have it – 5 vital routines to build a strong home. It’s up to you to start incorporating them into your family’s weekly grind. If you’ll comment below and tell me which one you’re going to focus on this week, I promise to pray specifically for you as you do it! Here’s to building strong homes together!
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