I recently went back to teaching after a blissful 16-year hiatus. To say that re-entry has been rough for me is an understatement. Classroom management is so hard that I had to send an emergency text to my husband the other day asking him to pray that I wouldn’t cry in front of my class. (Thankfully, I made it to the bathroom before bursting into tears.) I’ve been having flashbacks to 2001, the first time I stood in front of a group of first-graders who tore me to pieces. And I haven’t even gotten my first paycheck yet, but I sure did bring the ‘Rona home. The road to public school is a rough path for teachers and students alike. I know it will get better, but now that I’m back in it, I’ve never been more convinced that the public school classroom is a battleground. Now that I’m back in the classroom every day, I’m reminded that those of us who send our kids into the public schools (and private/charter schools too, for that matter) really need to be intentional about preparing them for what they’ll find there.
With the COVID-19 pandemic and critical race theory making headlines in education recently, many Christian influencers are encouraging believers to withdraw their kids from public schools completely. I’ve been blessed in the past to be able to make that decision, opting for homeschool instead of public school. That’s a luxury that most parents just don’t have. And while some families are able to send their kids to private schools, even those private schools aren’t perfect. But does that mean keeping our kids in public schools is an inevitable recipe for disaster? Definitely not. Our kids can thrive in public school if we will take the time to invest in them before and while they’re there.
So what can you do to prepare your kids for public school?
1. Teach them to love the Lord and love their neighbors.
Does this one go without saying? I’ll say it anyway. Your responsibility as a parent to teach your children to love the Lord is never more important than when you are preparing them for the public school classroom. The most important thing we teach our kids is the same thing that godly parents have been teaching their children for thousands of years: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might.” Deuteronomy 6:5.
Then in Matthew 22:34-40, a lawyer asked Jesus to tell him what the greatest commandment is. Jesus quoted that same verse from Deuteronomy, but then went a step farther to remind him that the second commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. If our kids go to school without understanding that basic concept, we have set them up for failure and misery. Young kids should be taught to love their friends, siblings, parents, and teachers. But older kids need that same discipline. Remind tweens and teenagers daily to look out for their neighbors – the shy ones, the lonely ones, the loud ones, and the crazy ones. Teach them to look out for the ones that are alone and give them ideas of how they can make conversations inclusive to those on the outside. For kids of all ages, we parents should be consistently modeling loving our neighbors in front of our kids. When you show love to others, verbalize what you’re doing and why you’re doing it so that your kids pay attention and learn from your example.
2. Give them a biblical worldview.
Someone is going to indoctrinate your children with a worldview. Make sure it’s you. The public school is a melting pot of worldviews. Even the youngest students have many teachers and other adults pouring into them in public schools. Most of them have very good intentions and want to help your child to have a positive worldview, but rarely will any public school teacher make an effort to teach from a specifically Christian worldview. You may encounter Christian teachers who love the Lord, but even those aren’t always willing to lay their jobs on the line in order to teach from a Christian worldview. And unfortunately, at all levels of education, there are those who would like to indoctrinate your child with a secular worldview.
You absolutely must teach your child a biblical worldview at home. Of course it’s best to start during the early, formative years by telling stories, singing songs, and reading books together. But it’s equally important not to let up as they get older. Many parents do tend to hand over most of the responsiblities of teaching biblical concepts to church leaders and teachers as their children get older. Don’t fall into this trap! You need to be having daily conversations with your children, no matter their ages, about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Bible, and how we all fit into God’s great big story to save the world from sin.
3. Teach them about absolute truth.
Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). Your child will undoubtedly be confronted with the idea that there are many truths from which they can pick and choose. This does not just apply to high school kids. Your youngest kids will be confronted with this concept pretty early on in their school careers. Arm them for battle by teaching them that the Bible, the sword of the Spirit, lays out all things that are always, absolutely true. These things are not up for debate or interpretation.
Don’t worry about making sure they know every single true thing before they go to school. Instead, make sure that they know that the Bible is the source of all truth and that we can always look to Scripture to guide us into that truth. Too often, we get hung up on teaching our kids ALL. THE. THINGS. that they need to do to be good and to live right. Sometimes we neglect to lay the foundation, teaching them the basic concept that God tells us what is always true. I love this article by Focus on the Family that goes into much greater detal about absolute truth.
4. Teach them purity of speech.
Luke 6:46 tells us that the words of our mouths reflect the content of our hearts. Teach this to your children early because once they enter public school, they will be confronted with a lot impure speech. You might never allow profanity, slander, or taking God’s name in vain in your home, but kids in early elementary school are already hearing these things regularly throughout their days. With these types of speech pouring into them, it doesn’t take much and you’ll begin to see these things pouring out of them. That’s why teaching them about our words is crucial.
Paul writes in Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Talk to your kids about what their speech should sound like and why. Don’t just assume that because you don’t allow filthy speech in your home that your children won’t use this kind of speech at school. Have the conversations with them about their speech. Remind them that their speech should reflect what is true as a representative of Christ. Tell them your expectations about the way they speak – not just the words they say, but the attitudes they have when speaking to peers, teachers, and adults. Spend a lot of time talking about how to choose words correctly and why.
5. Teach them a biblical view of sexuality.
Your kids will develop their own thoughts about sexuality and they will develop them much earlier than you think. These thoughts will either be influenced by you or by their peers. Let it be you! Start as early as you possibly can by teaching your children basic concepts about gender and sexuality. When they’re little, begin by teaching them anatomically correct names for their body parts. As they grow through elementary school, tell them about God’s plan for families, which includes a husband and a wife who have committed to love each other forever. Explain reproduction as a part of God’s good design.
By the time they’re in middle school, they’ll have friends and classmates who identify as a gender that is different from their biological gender. They’ll have peers who identify as “bi” or “lesbian” or “gay” and many who have preferred pronouns that they use. These students are not exceptions anymore; they are present in every circle of friends and your children will know them well by middle school. Don’t be afraid to have conversations with your children about what these terms mean and what the Bible has to say about the topics. Discuss how they can show love toward their friends who identify as LGBTQ. Make sure they know that believers in Christ have chosen to repent and turn from their sin, but those who don’t follow Christ haven’t made this choice. Teach your children that lost people will live like lost people and it is our job to show God’s love to the lost world. Pray for their friends together and look for opportunities to show love and share Christ with their friends. Make sure your kids know that they can come to you with any question they ever have about things they hear and see at school in regard to sexuality.
Light in the Darkness
Matthew 5:16 tells us to let our light shine in the darkness, that others may see our good deeds and give glory to our Father in heaven. As a Christian in public school, your child has a unique opportunity to shine the light of Jesus in a dark world. The Bible gives us all the Great Commission in Matthew 28:18-20. The Great Commission is not just for grown-ups! Your child was created uniquely by God for such a time as this. God has given YOU to your children to lead, guide, and teach them the way they should go. Take your responsiblity seriously and equip your children to enter the mission field that is the public school.
If God has put your family in the public schools, it’s not by accident. You are all there for a purpose, to shine the light of Jesus Christ to a darkened world. Don’t be afraid and don’t be shy. Pray up and prepare your children to live for Jesus in their schools.
