We live in a culture that resists suffering.
Our response to the COVID pandemic is a prime example of our resistance to suffering. We have drastically altered the patterns of our lives in a completely unprecedented way, all in hopes that we can avoid suffering. Shutting down businesses, schools, churches, and stores, we have made every effort to prevent suffering. We have covered our faces and stayed six feet away from all other people to prevent our own suffering. So many of us have missed out on weddings, funerals, birthday parties, vacations, graduations, and other social events to keep ourselves and our loved ones from suffering.
In our culture, we have epidurals to take the pain out of childbirth (AMEN!) and we have Tylenol to take the pain out of our heads. We have hospitals for our physical pain and therapists for our emotional pain. Participation ribbons are given so that no one feels the pain of losing. Banks will loan you money so you don’t have to suffer through the process of saving. Restaurants and grocery stores on every corner keep you from feeling the pain of hunger. Even air conditioners can keep you from suffering through the heat.
We do not like to be uncomfortable and most of us will do anything to avoid suffering. But consider this: What if suffering is not something we should avoid? What if suffering is something we should expect? What if suffering is actually one of God’s good gifts to us?
I’m certainly not advocating that you throw caution to the wind and run unprotected through the COVID wing at your local hospital. God gave us brains to use and wisdom to guide us. I’m also not saying you shouldn’t get an epidural or take Tylenol or that you should leave your air conditioner off! These things are gifts from God and we are free to use them. But what if we stopped living in so much fear of suffering? What if we embraced suffering as God’s good gift to us? What if, when we find ourselves suffering, we call it what it is – “I’m suffering!” – and then we ask God to be glorified in it like He said He would?
The Devastating Denial of Suffering
If you’re anything at all like me, you don’t want to admit that you’re actually suffering. I have given myself a million reasons to deny the fact that I’m suffering. I’ll tell you a few of the lies I’ve told myself:
- My circumstances aren’t really that bad.
- Other people have it so much worse than I do, so I shouldn’t complain.
- I am a strong woman so I can conquer this without really labeling it suffering.
- I don’t like to admit defeat and suffering sounds too much like defeat.
- I’ve had harder times in my life than what I’m facing now.
- I’m certain harder times are coming so I don’t want to be too quick to say this is suffering.
- I need to be strong for my family, so I can’t admit to suffering.
- I just don’t have time to deal with suffering.
- If people thought I might be suffering, it might make me look bad.
- This doesn’t even come close to what Jesus suffered, so it can’t possibly qualify as suffering.
I thought that if I didn’t call it suffering, I could just keep going.
Maybe it was even noble to deny that I was suffering.
Calling it suffering, would be admitting defeat.
If I admitted that I was suffering, I would bring shame on myself.
And maybe if I didn’t call it suffering, it wouldn’t really be suffering.
Oh, how wrong I was. If you don’t get anything else out of this, I want you to get this, so perk your little ears up, friends:
Believing the lie that you are not actually suffering robs you of the precious gift of sharing in the fellowship of suffering with Jesus.
In John 16:33, Jesus says, “You will have suffering in this world.” We would be wise to stop trying to dodge it or deny it. Instead, we need to learn what Scripture says about suffering and what our response should be when we suffer.
Developing a Theology of Suffering
We’ve got to develop what’s called a “Theology of Suffering”. That just means that we need to really look at what God’s Word says to us about suffering and draw a few conclusions. So let’s dig into the New Testament!
Suffering in the Gospels
The gospels are full of people that are suffering. They are blind, they’re lame, they’re dying. They have lost loved ones, they’re financially destitute and they are in desperate need of Jesus. In John 9, we read the story of a man who had been blind from birth. The disciples asked Jesus why the blind man was blind. They wanted to know who sinned – this man or his parents? Obviously this kind of suffering was a result of sin, wasn’t it? Jesus set them straight. No sin was involved in this suffering – God had allowed this suffering because He wanted to display His work in this man’s life. Two things are certain as we look at the suffering of all these people in the gospels:
1. God allows suffering.
2. God uses suffering.
Suffering in Acts
A quick look at the book of Acts gives us a reminder of the suffering that the Messiah endured. Over and over, the writer of Acts tells us that Jesus had to suffer. In Acts 17:3, he even says that Jesus’ suffering was necessary. We can’t miss this part – Jesus had to suffer because of our sin.
In the same way that Jesus had to suffer, we also suffer because we live in a fallen world that is full of sin. When Adam and Eve took the first bite of fruit, our perfect world came to a screeching halt. You and I were born into world that is full of sin, suffering, and ultimately death. We suffer because of our own sin. Sometimes we suffer because of other people’s sin. And yet other times, we just suffer because we live in a fallen world. From this, we learn that:
3. Jesus suffered because of sin.
4. We suffer because of sin.
Suffering in Paul’s Letters
As we keep plugging through the New Testament, there is an obvious shift. Jesus suffered and died once for all. But the New Testament gives us repeated instructions about how believers will have to suffer throughout our lives. The suffering didn’t end with Jesus.
- We learn in Philippians 1:29 that it has been granted to us to suffer for Christ.
- Philippians 3:7-10 shows us that a worthy goal is to share in the fellowship of Christ’s sufferings.
- We read in 2 Timothy 1:8 that we are to share in suffering for the gospel.
- In Hebrews 12:7 we are told to endure suffering as discipline.
- 1 Peter 4:13 tells us to rejoice when we share in the sufferings of Christ.
From this we learn that:
5. We know Christ through sharing in His suffering.
6. God is glorified in us through our suffering.
Jesus’ Response to Suffering
Keep these things in mind:
In Matthew 26:39, Jesus asked God to take the cup of his suffering from him.
“My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
If Jesus can ask God to take it away, surely you and I can ask the same! It’s ok to admit that it hurts. It’s ok to ask God to make it stop. That one fact gave me so much relief. I don’t have to act strong like I can take the pain. I don’t have to buck up and tough it out. It’s ok for me to say, “I don’t want to go through this anymore. Take it from me, Lord!”
But here’s the thing: we can’t stop there because that’s not all Jesus said. After Jesus asked God to take the cup of his suffering from him, he said, “Yet not as I will, but as You will.” So when it comes to suffering, you can rest assured that your suffering is totally in line with God’s will. You can ask him to take it. But if you’re truly seeking to live like Jesus, you will follow that statement up with a statement that acknowledges God’s supreme sovereignty in your suffering.
“Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
I have come to know Christ in an incredible way by sharing with him in suffering. That alone makes my suffering worth it.
But as if knowing Christ through suffering wasn’t enough, God has given a precious promise to us that he will be glorified through our suffering. So don’t deny your suffering anymore. Don’t try to be strong and hide it when you suffer. Shout from the rooftops about the miraculous way that He takes what’s broken in your life and redeems it for His glory.
If you’ve been avoiding suffering at all costs, or hesitant to call your suffering by name, you could be robbing God of glory, and yourself of the intimacy that comes with suffering along with Christ.
We cannot rejoice in what we avoid. We cannot rejoice in what we deny.
God will not be glorified in our suffering if we deny its existence in our lives. Christ doesn’t get the glory when we present ourselves as strong. He gets the glory when we show the world we’re weak. We can do that by admitting our suffering and waiting for God to glorify himself in our story. That doesn’t come easy for those of us who want to be strong! But as the prophet, John the Baptist said in John 3:30, “He must become greater, I must become less.”
How are you suffering right now? I would love to know. I hope you’ll decide now that you will fellowship with Christ in that suffering instead of denying it and pushing forward in your own strength. If you’ll comment below or send me a private message, I will commit to praying for you by name over the next month. I’ll be praying that you’ll know Christ and that God will be glorified through whatever it is you’re suffering.
I’ll leave you with this beautiful arrangement of one of my very favorite songs. Grab some Kleenex and a quiet spot and pour your heart out to the Lord, thanking him for His good gift of suffering that allows you to know Him in a way you’d never know Him without it.
If you want to read more on the concept of suffering, I highly recommend these books. (Purchase through these affiliate links to support The Strong Home and it won’t cost you anything extra!)
