Breaking Up with Jen Hatmaker: Fangirl No More

**Recently, two people I greatly respect mentioned that there was a time that I was a Jen Hatmaker fangirl. They didn’t realize that I’d broken up with her about three years ago. I never want to slander anyone or say something online that I wouldn’t say straight to someone’s face, so I never posted about my breakup with her. But I also believe so strongly that we have to beware of false teachers, that I think it’s time I pointed this one out. This comes from 2 Timothy 3:1-7. Find more on that in Weak Women, Strong Women.**

The night I met Jen Hatmaker, I was totally fangirling. I’d waited in a long line at a conference to chat with her and get a picture and then some “official” lady came and whisked her away when I was next in line. Jen saw the pained look on my face and made the time to snap a quick pic with me. I was smitten!

To be totally clear, Jen Hatmaker and I don’t know each other at all. But from 2013-2017, I was a huge fan. If you don’t know who she is, Jen is an author/speaker/influencer whose sense of humor and chatty writing style leaves her readers feeling like she’s their very best friend. Her very first book was called “A Modern Girl’s Guide to Bible Study”, which if you know me at all, you know that’s my jam. She’s got a super-trendy fashion style, a Harley-riding-pastor-husband and she had a brief stint on HGTV. What’s not to love?

I was not alone in my adoration of Jen Hatmaker. She’s currently got 514K followers on Instagram and 769K followers on Facebook. I’m still one of those followers, but I’m not fangirling anymore. In fact, I’m reading her posts and watching her videos much more critically these days.

Jen’s fall off the proverbial pedestal

If you’re not sure what happened to cause me to fall out of love with Jen Hatmaker, I’ll give you a quick rundown. But first, I’ll tell you what’s NOT the reason. In 2017, Jen was being interviewed and she let the world know that she believes a homosexual marriage can be holy. I value listening and learning from people who see things differently than I do, so while that did change me from fangirl to skeptic, I actually became more intrigued by what she had to say at that point. Well, many evangelicals around the world lost their ever-loving minds over this and Lifeway pulled her stuff off the shelves in a hurry. She was ostracized and outcast by people that she thought were her friends and supporters. Many “Christians” were absolutely awful to her. I’ve read that she received death threats and all sorts of hate mail.

Jen’s rejection by the evangelical world caused her to spiral farther and farther away from the truth of God’s Word. People, even Christians, can be mean and they were really mean to her. In response, she began to push back on everything evangelical, renouncing her conservative upbringing and anything even closely tied to traditional, conservative, evangelicalism. As a conservative evangelical myself, this made me sad. But again, I like to give thoughtful consideration to people who see things differently than I do. This spring she released her latest book, “Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire” and the excerpts I’ve read from it reveal the pain in her heart over what happened.

The saddest part about her rejection by the evangelical community is that in an effort to hold her accountable to the truth of God’s Word, many conservative Christians ended up driving her farther away. It’s sad that it happened that way, but I think it was necessary. Jen Hatmaker is now one of the most outspoken opponents of traditional, conservative evangelicalism while still assuming the name “Christian” today. Jen Hatmaker now teaches a false gospel of social justice. And that’s why I had to break up with her.

Who is In and Who is Out?

Let me give you one example: In this article that she wrote for the Dallas Morning News, she tells of how she stopped asking certain questions common in evangelicalism like “who is in and who is out?” and became intrigued by other questions such as “what feels and sounds and looks like actual good news?” Jen views the traditional, conservative, evangelical church as divisive and she is looking for some actual good news. I’d like to give her some.

If I could sit down to coffee with Jen, here’s what I’d say:

“Jen, first of all, I am so sorry that you’ve been so hurt. Sometimes Christians can be so mean. The most painful hurt often comes from within the church because we expect Christ-followers to act better than they do. There’s no excuse, but I think there may be a reason behind the rejection.

You see, there’s some really bad news that is all over the Bible. We are all sinners (Rom 3:23). Every single one of us. This thing called sin? It’s all of the wrong stuff that we do that goes against a holy God. He can’t be in the presence of it. So we can never, ever be in his presence. He gave us His Word so that we can understand just how short of perfection we fall. In His Word, He has given us directions for how to live a perfect life, but the problem is none of us can do it. None of us are in. We’re all out (Rom 3:10).

So obviously, we need some good news. The news that Jesus Christ came to save sinners is the very best news (John 3:16). There is no better news, in fact, because we don’t have to spend eternity in hell. So when you ask for “actual good news,” I’m not really sure how to respond, other than that THIS IS ACTUAL GOOD NEWS. There is no greater news!

This is actual good news!

Jen, I think you know all of that. Right? So I think what you’re actually talking about when you refer to “who is in and who is out” and “actual good news” is something totally different – it’s what happens in the church, right?

It’s true, some people in the church can make other people feel like outsiders. That’s what you’re against, right? You advocate for the marginalized, the ostracized, and the “canceled” ones. We (conservative, evangelical Christians) care about them too, actually. I think the difference is in our focus: you care about their lives on earth and we care about their lives in eternity. It’s not that their lives on earth don’t matter to us; it’s that their lives in eternity matter so much more that we are willing to risk it all to tell them just how out we all are because of our sin.

In reality, God is a God of division. Matthew 13:24-30, 36-43 records the parable of the weeds. God separates the wheat from the weeds. Matthew 25:31-46 shows God dividing the sheep from the goats. There will be some people that are in and some people that are out. To be clear, when God divides the sheep from the goats, he does so based on their righteous works – something that’s important to you, Jen. But we can’t be fooled into thinking that these righteous works are what made them sheep. The sheep didn’t get to be sheep because of their righteous works – they got to be sheep because of their faith in Jesus Christ. The works are the evidence of their faith in Jesus.

We have to call sin “sin”.

Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to get people to understand that there is a Way to get from out to in in the Kingdom of God, and to do that, we have to call sin “sin”, and sometimes people’s feelings get hurt in the process. We (conservative, evangelical Christians) come across as judgmental and hypocritical when really we’re just trying to tell people about the narrow road (Matt 7:13-14). We point out sin because it’s the thing we all have that keeps us out. If you don’t acknowledge that sin is sin, if you don’t see that you are out, you don’t really see the need to be saved from anything. We want to show people the way in, not to the church, but to the Kingdom of God.

When you say you’re looking for actual good news, I wonder why the good news that Jesus came to save sinners isn’t enough to be actual good news for you. In fact, knowing that you don’t think that this is actual good news means that the gospel you preach and teach is not the true gospel.

You preach a false gospel, Jen.

My heart is broken for that, and I’m guessing that those conservative, evangelical brothers and sisters who turned their backs on you did so because the gospel you began to preach is a false gospel. We are biblically obligated to check the Scriptures to see if what you say is true and what you are saying about the gospel is not true (Acts 17:11). We are all hoping and praying that one day, you will understand the true gospel and repent and begin to teach the true gospel: the actual good news.

Until then, Jen, we’ve gotta stay broken up. I know this hurts me more than it hurts you. You don’t need me as your follower or your fangirl; you’ve got plenty of those. My prayer for you is that you will know the true gospel, the actual good news and that you will begin to share with your hundreds of thousands of followers and fangirls that the bad news is we are sinners and the actual good news is that Jesus came to save us from our sin. We were out, but if we turn to Him, by grace, through faith, in repentance, we can be in. And that’s some pretty amazing actual good news.