I’ve got a pillow on my bed from Goods and Better that says “Keep Saying Yes”. Last Christmas, Chris really built up the gift he bought me, telling me he knew it would make me cry. But he was wrong. When I opened it, I smiled and said thank you, but I didn’t cry. I know it wasn’t quite the reaction he’d hoped for.
The thing is, if you know me at all, you know me as the “Yes, Lord” girl. That phrase, taken from Isaiah 26:8 has been the verse that has driven me the past 24 years. It’s been the starting point for all my decisions, my attitude, and my whole life!
Waiting and Obeying
Over that nearly quarter of a century, I have said “Yes, Lord” often while waiting. I waited for marriage, a job, babies. I waited for Dr. Irving to finally finish school, for adoption, for healing. So much waiting.
I have also said “Yes, Lord” in obedience during the waiting. I obeyed the Lord in my marriage, in our ministry, and in trusting Him with the size of our family. Lots of waiting and lots of obeying. I got really good at saying “Yes, Lord” to whatever He called me to do.
But I have to admit that I was starting to get tired.
So when I opened that Christmas present that said “Keep Saying Yes”, it hit different. I’m not a young, starry-eyed girl with big dreams of following the Lord to glorious heights. I’m a bit more, shall we say “seasoned” now, and I know that saying yes to the Lord sometimes means following him into really hard, unglamourous places. Saying yes to the Lord always requires sacrifice and a little bit (or even a whole lot) of dying to yourself. So this past Christmas morning, the idea of continuing to say yes sounded completely exhausting, to be honest.
Saying yes to the Lord always requires sacrifice and a little bit (or even a whole lot) of dying to yourself.
If you’ve been around The Strong Home for any length of time, you know that I wrote and published a Bible Study called “Yes, Lord” a few years ago. But lately I’ve joked that my next book is going to be titled, “No, Lord, I don’t wanna!”. Of course I’m kidding. Mostly.
The truth is that saying “Yes, Lord” has been hard, especially the last few years. I’d hate for any of you dear readers to think for one moment that my “Yes, Lord” attitude has led to a blissful life of happiness and fun. I mean, of course there are blessings all over the place when I take the time to look, but living a surrendered life can also be really dang hard.
The Good and The Not-So-Good
Over the past couple of years, we’ve said “Yes, Lord” a lot.
Saying yes to trusting God with the size of our family has meant adding three precious lives to our family. We’ve been challenged to give up our comfort and our groove to make room for new little people who have had their comfort and their groove quite disrupted too.
When we said yes to moving to Hawaii (and then yes to moving back to Texas), we got to go on the adventure of a lifetime together. But both times it meant a lot of painful heartbreak, as well as disappointing a lot of people, some of whom lived in our own home.
I recently said yes to going back to teaching in public school (something I said I’d never do!), a blessing that has benefited our family in so many ways. But it’s also meant laying down my desire to write and teach and speak for now. It meant taking a break from The Strong Home and the “Yes, Lord” Bible study and trusting the Lord to grow that in his time, not mine.
The blessings far outweigh the sacrifices, but the sacrifices are still hard. So if any tears were going to be shed on Christmas morning over that pillow, they were going to be exhausted, painful tears. As I sat in my living room (the fourth living room I’d had in the past three years), looking at my family (that included three new, sweet, little strangers), the idea of continuing to say yes was almost more than I could handle. I didn’t want to keep saying yes. I wanted to say, “No thanks, God. I’m good now.” Anything but another yes.
Anything but another yes.
But that pillow has been perched on my bed every day (ok, not every day because I certainly don’t make my bed every single day!) and I’ve read its words a million times since Christmas. I’m still not crying tears of joy over it, but man, it’s been such an encouragement to me over the past six months.
Every day I wake up, I have to keep saying yes. Keep saying yes to my husband, my kids, the Lord. I keep saying yes to a job that I’m thankful for, despite how difficult it’s been. And I’ll keep saying yes to the major disruption of foster care and adoption. I’ll keep saying yes to starting over at a new church, a new home, a new family, a new job, a new life.
This has been a crazy year and that explains why I’ve been a bit quiet over here at The Strong Home. It’s because I’ve been busy keeping saying yes, even when it would be so much easier to say no. And I hope that when you think about what the Lord is calling you to do, you’ll look at me and you’ll be inspired to keep saying yes too.
Check out my Bible Study and e-book, “Yes, Lord: Overcoming Trials by Giving Up Control”!
