Last December my closest friends and I decided to each choose a theme word for 2019. Mine ended up being a phrase – “know Him”, which came from Philippians 3:10, which says “that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection”.
I thought “know Him” was a great phrase for me since I’d just enrolled in seminary to pursue my Master of Divinity degree. I enjoyed studying and I looked forward to knowing more about God, hoping that in the process of knowing more about Him, I would get to know Him more too. Little did I know that was only the tip of the iceberg of what God had planned for me in 2019. And I guess I’m glad I didn’t know at that point because if I’d known what He had for me, I probably would’ve changed my word!
While 2019 has brought lots of fun, amazing changes for our family, it has also been a year of profound loss and brokenness for us. In late spring we sensed that God might really be calling us to Hawaii. We were so excited about the opportunity, but there were so many painfully hard steps to take to follow the Lord in this huge step of obedience. There were so many sacrifices we had to make – some of which greatly affected our children and our parents. There were so many goodbyes – our dog, our friends, our parents, our church family. Texas was home for us and saying goodbye was incredibly painful. I was starting to realize that knowing God in this way was going to require obedience and sacrifice.
When we got to Hawaii, we were excited to be following the Lord and imagining all the great things that lay ahead for us. But within the first month, the attacks started. In Month #1, I broke a filling in a tooth that required several painful visits to the dentist. In Month #2, Kylie broke her arm. In Month #3, our house was broken into and we lost so many irreplaceable things. In Month #4, our car broke down. I started to notice a theme of brokenness here.
This caused me to look back at the verse in Philippians that inspired me to choose “know Him” as my 2019 theme. When I read this verse in context, I noticed something that I hadn’t really grasped before. I noticed loss and suffering. Brokenness.
Philippians 3: 7-11 says…
But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ.Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christand be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.
Following Jesus in 2019 has meant brokenness and loss and suffering for our family. But through it all, I have come to know Christ in a way I never would’ve known Him if we had stayed comfortably planted right where we were. I’m thankful for the opportunity to count everything loss and to share in his sufferings. In 2019, we have died to ourselves and counted all loss for the sake of knowing Him. And I’m so thankful for the chance to know Him in a way I never could’ve known Him otherwise. He is a good Father and He has been so faithful to provide for us, to meet every single one of our needs through so many wonderful, faithful people, and to show us more of Himself through it all. In 2019 for the Irving family, God has proven Himself so faithful!
We are all really looking forward to 2020, and while I wouldn’t trade the way I’ve come to know Him, I selfishly hope that 2020 will bring more joy and less difficulty! But either way, we’re thrilled to be serving Him here in Hawaii at UABC and we truly can’t wait to see how we will come to know Him more in the days to come!
PS – Yesterday at church, we played this beautiful song, “All Things” that I’ve come to love because of what it means for us in 2019. Hear Nicole Binion sing it here (even though Dani Beth Crosby’s version is my fav)!
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I’m all for keeping it real around here so if you want to see the real me, check out my post, In the Interest of Full Disclosure!
